Proverbs 13King James Version
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick, but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. He that spareth his rod hateth his son. The verse that gave 'spare the rod' to the language.
The contrast between the wise and the foolish son runs through the chapter. Wealth through labor versus hasty getting. 'He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes' (verse 24). Light for the righteous, darkness for the wicked. 'Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life' (verse 12), one of Proverbs' most resonant psychological observations.
Character builds slowly through discipline and delayed gratification. Quick wealth and unchastened children both end badly.
13:12: 'Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.' Disappointment is real; so is fulfillment. Neither is diminished here.
Family life and commercial society in ancient Israel. The 'spareth the rod' instruction reflects ancient educational norms across the Near East, where physical correction of children was a universal practice assumed to be corrective rather than punitive in intent.
Solomon's wisdom collected; no named characters. The wise son, the scorner who refuses correction, the wealthy poor and poor wealthy as types.
Verse 12 is one of the most psychologically acute lines in all of Proverbs, naming the interior experience of waiting and disappointment without moralizing it. The child-discipline verse (24) is frequently quoted; in context it belongs to a broader argument that love does not avoid difficulty but moves through it.
For when you have been waiting a long time for something that was supposed to come and the waiting is wearing on you. Verse 12 doesn't minimize it; it holds it.
1A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.
2A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth: but the soul of the transgressors shall eat violence.
3He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
4The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.
5A righteous man hateth lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and cometh to shame.
6Righteousness keepeth him that is upright in the way: but wickedness overthroweth the sinner.
7There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing: there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches.
8The ransom of a man's life are his riches: but the poor heareth not rebuke.
9The light of the righteous rejoiceth: but the lamp of the wicked shall be put out.
10Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
11Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.
12Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
13Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded.
14The law of the wise is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
15Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard.
16Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge: but a fool layeth open his folly.
17A wicked messenger falleth into mischief: but a faithful ambassador is health.
18Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.
19The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul: but it is abomination to fools to depart from evil.
20He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
21Evil pursueth sinners: but to the righteous good shall be repayed.
22A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.
23Much food is in the tillage of the poor: but there is that is destroyed for want of judgment.
24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
25The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul: but the belly of the wicked shall want.