In the Valley
Prayer for When You Need a Fresh Start
When you're standing in the rubble of something that didn't work and you need permission to begin again. When the past feels like a sentence instead of a chapter. A prayer for the courage to start over.
God, I need to talk to you about something I've been avoiding. I know what I did. You know what I did. And I've been carrying it around like maybe if I don't say it out loud it doesn't fully count. But it counts. I know it counts.
I'm not here to beat myself up. You don't want that from me. You want honesty. So here it is. I chose wrong. I knew better and I chose wrong anyway. And I can feel the distance it created. Between us. That's the part that hurts most.
Have mercy on me, God. According to your lovingkindness. Not according to what I deserve. Please, not according to what I deserve. But according to who you are. Your mercy is bigger than my mistake. It has to be. It always has been before.
Wash me. That's all I'm asking. Not just forgive me but wash me. Restore me to something clean. Because right now I don't feel clean. And I need to feel clean again. This is what David cried when he needed what I need right now. Psalm 51 says Create in me a clean heart, O God. Not a better version of the old one. Not a patched-up, try-harder heart. A new one. You said you could do that. You've done it before. I'm asking you to do it again.
Renew a right spirit within me. Because left to my own spirit, we can both see how that goes. I need yours. I need the spirit that says no when I want to say yes. The spirit that loves people I find hard to love. The spirit that chooses truth when lying would be easier.
Cast me not away from your presence. That's my deepest fear, you know. Not consequences. Not what other people think. That you would be done with me. But you're not done with me. You called me here tonight. You gave me the words. You're still listening.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart you will not despise. Then here I am, Lord. Broken. Contrite. Yours. Do something with that.
In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.
Listen to This Prayer
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