Finding Love

God it happened. It actually happened. After everything, after all of it it happened. I found them. Or maybe you brought them to me. Either way, they're here. They're real. And I am completely undone by this.

You know how long I waited, God. You were there for all of it. The Friday nights alone when everyone else was coupled up. The weddings where I smiled and clapped and danced and then cried in the car on the way home. The dating apps I deleted and re-downloaded a dozen times. The bad dates God, the bad dates. The ones where I knew in the first five minutes it wasn't right but sat through the whole dinner anyway because I was so desperate to not be alone.

And the heartbreak. You know about that too. The one I thought was it the one I would have bet my life on. When that ended, something in me just went quiet. I stopped hoping. I told myself I was being realistic, but honestly? I was just protecting myself. I figured maybe love wasn't my thing. Maybe I was supposed to do life solo. And I started making peace with that or at least pretending to.

But you said wait. You kept whispering it when I wanted to settle. When I almost called the wrong person back. When I almost said yes to something I knew wasn't right just to fill the space. You said wait. And God I understand now. I understand why. Because this this person you brought into my life I could never have dreamed them up. Not in a million years. They are beyond anything I would have known to ask for.

God, let me tell you about them. Because I need you to know that I notice. I notice everything. The way they laugh not the polite laugh they give other people, but the real one. The one that takes over their whole body, the one where they throw their head back and just let go. That laugh heals something in me every single time.

And the way they listen. God, they actually listen. Not just waiting for their turn to talk they listen like what I'm saying matters. They remember things I said weeks ago that I forgot I even mentioned. They ask the follow-up question. They pay attention to the stuff I try to hide. Nobody has ever made me feel that seen. Nobody.

They make ordinary moments feel sacred, God. Coffee in the morning. A walk around the block. Sitting on the couch not even talking, just being in the same room it feels like enough. It feels like more than enough. They turned the mundane into something I actually look forward to. I didn't know love could be this quiet and this loud at the same time.

So God, I'm asking you help me be worthy of this. Not perfect, I know that's not the deal. But help me be patient when I want to be defensive. Help me be honest when it's easier to hide. Help me show up for this person the way they show up for me. Don't let me take this for granted. Not for a single day.

I almost stopped believing this could happen. I almost gave up on this. And now they're here, sleeping next to me, or laughing across the table, or texting me something stupid that makes my whole day better and all I can say is, God, you knew. You knew what I needed before I did. You knew who I needed. And your timing your timing was perfect. Thank you. Thank you. I will never stop being amazed by this.